


Pine The Night Away

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, M/M, Mutual Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, Sex, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:16:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: Dean can't control what he's feeling, so he does what he does best. He acts like an idiot.





	Pine The Night Away

**Author's Note:**

> I love this one.   
I wrote this one for winsestmas, as a gift to Ann for doing the challenge each year.

Dean often wonders, if human beings can die from a broken heart. Not shock, not something so emotionally heavy and unexpected. A broken heart; the slow, stabbing ache of being in love with someone who will never love you back. Can humans die from a broken heart? 

Can he?

Sam's lips round on words, flatten. His tongue comes out to wet them. Hair just beside his chin, ends of it curled under his jaw. 

Dean's hands burning with the urge to reach out, heart fighting to get out of his chest, go to Sam. Dean inhales.

_You can't die from love,_ he reminds himself. 

Sam's fingers are long and slender. Strangely feminine even with how big his hands are. There's a mole right over the vein in Sam's right wrist. Dean wants to lick and kiss it. His throat closes up. He chokes back a sob.

It's overflowing.

His desire for Sam is flooding him, and he's no longer strong enough to hold it in. His heart is throbbing, painful want coursing through his veins.

He finds himself reaching out, finger tips _this close_ from touching and every time, he gets enough of a grip to fight the urge. It's affecting him, dulling his senses till he's aware of nothing but his brother. More than once he almost got them killed. He's ignoring it.

Tonight he couldn't.

''Dean?''

His hand is gripping Sam's wrist, and he's staring at it with wide eyes. Like he's not the one who moved. He lets go and takes three steps away, back of his knees bumping with the bed and he sinks onto it. Covers his face with both hands, doesn't want to look at Sam now.

''Are you okay?'' Concern in every letter, Sam's voice too close. He's sitting on the other bed facing Dean, and even without looking Dean knows he's wearing that worried expression of his. Gorgeous hazels wide and shiny, forehead wrinkled between furrowed brows.

''I'm fine,'' He whispers from behind his hands. Feels gentle digits wrapping around his forearms.

''Look at me, Dean.'' Sam requests, voice so low Dean barely catches it. He wants to, but he can't. Can't look at Sam right now, his heart will explode, his soul will shatter. His all consuming love will burn too bright and both of them will turn to ash.

''Just...Just give me some time. I'm alright.''

Sam doesn't let go, tugs until Dean's face is revealed. Dean closes his eyes. Being childish and not caring one bit.

''Dean,'' a whine ''you've been off of your game lately. You almost got yourself killed on our last hunt, you refused pie. You...you won't look me in the eye. I know something is wrong, but I can't help you if you don't tell me what.'' hurt now.

''I can't,'' too small, his throat is raw. Feeling Sam's warmth, the vibration of his voice going through Dean. Too close, he wants to touch so bad.

''You know I'd do anything for you, just tell me.'' Sam's desperate. Dean wants to take advantage, wants to do unspeakable things to Sam. Fuck him up so bad and own him. He takes a deep breath, willing his drumming heart to slow.

''Okay,'' he won't do anything weird, just hold him. Skin on skin, warmth, heart beat ''but when I do this, don't ask anything, don't bring it up later.''

''I promise.''

They're sitting across each other, Dean's knee between Sam's, their hands almost touching where they're dangling them in between. Dean lifts his hand and Sam flinches, lids shutting. He jolts again when Dean cups his cheek, lets his eyes slide open. Blinks twice, stares into Dean, his head tilts into the touch. He closes his eyes and sighs.

Dean's other hand traces Sam's features, barely there pressure. Careful. Sam's too precious, Dean has to be careful. Tips of his fingers on Sam's cheekbones, earlobe, down the angle of his jaw, lips. Starting back up, eyebrows and his soft eyelids that flutter under Dean's touch.

Sam isn't putting up a fight, pliant and silent. Only his breathing getting faster. Dean's hand make their way on the delicious length of Sam's neck, Sam swallows, pulse like baby bird wings. He dips his fingers below Sam's shirt, draws imaginary lines over his delicate collarbones, rest it over his hammering heart.

_Remember this_. He tells himself. _Imprint the feel of his skin in your brain, his warmth. Be satisfied. _

This has to be enough. It will never be enough.

Dean leans down, places his lips right over the curve of where neck meets shoulder, kisses gently. Trails his lips up, kissing every patch of skin he's just caressed. Sam's breath hitches, Dean pushes him back on the bed. Sam doesn't open his eyes, feet still on the ground, legs hugging Dean's thighs. So hot, so tempting.

Sinful.

Dean circles him with both arms, brings him as close as he can, smells him. Their hearts beating together, out of rhythm.

Sam hugs him. Dean jerks back, takes in Sam's face. Tears in the corner of his eyes, lips trembling. Dean pets his hear, Sam's tears fall. He stands up, walks away from Sam, out into the night.

He doesn't go back till it's down. Sam is not asleep but he's pretending. Dean climbs into his bed, doesn't say a word.

************************

True to his promise, Sam doesn't ask about it, doesn't bring it up or look at Dean with big sad eyes. He acts like nothing's happened and even when the elephant in the room eats their food and breathes their air, they don't acknowledge it. 

Something shifts.

Sam lingers, allowing Dean to feel him there. Their accidental touches are more, Sam's smile isn't the same, even when he's trying to make it so.

Dean's resolve crumbles. It's easier to sin at night, when the light is off and the society's rules don't apply for their maker is asleep. He kisses Sam for the first time.

Sam doesn't move. He slacks under Dean, gives himself up. Not kissing back, barely breathing.

The touching becomes some kind of a fucked up routine.

Dean tries not to take so much, only long hugs and gentle kisses, but this time something in him breaks. Sam smells like honey, hair wet and dark, haloed around his head on the pillow.

When their lips meet there's more purpose to Dean's kiss than usual, forces Sam's lips open, pushes his tongue inside and keeps going. Rush of blood in his ears, heart drumming. Sam is trying to break free.

He sits up and crawls away, falling off of the bed on his ass. Sam was pushing him. Sam is crying.

Dean didn't notice how far he's gone, but Sam is completely wrecked. His shirt is half unbuttoned hanging off of one shoulder, hair askew, and cheeks flushed. Panting, tears' tracks on his face.

He looks other-worldly beautiful. Ethereal.

He looks hurt and broken. Dean did this.

''I'm sorry!'' It echoes, Dean snaps his head up. Because that wasn't him alone. Sam spoke too.

''What're you apologizing for, Sam?'' Dean is the one who should be begging on his knees.

''I pushed you. I'm sorry, Dean. I can't take this anymore.'' And that Dean saw coming, what was he expecting anyway? ''I don't want you to be disgusted, don't want you to hate me.'' Sniffling, Sam puts his shirt back in place, pets his hair in hopes of getting it in shape. His tears keep falling.

''Sam,'' there's something Dean isn't following ''why would _I _hate _you_?''

Sam's cheeks turn redder if possible and he looks down in shame. It's when Dean finally notices, the bulge in Sam's jeans. His mind comes to a halt, everything in him wants to believe what this seems to be.

''You think I would hate it if you enjoyed what I'm doing to you?''

''That's...not... Dean I _want_ you and you...''

''Sammy, why do you think I've been doing what I've been doing?''

Sam's eyes dart around, hands clenching then unclenching ''I don't know. You told me not to ask. But, I thought that you're feeling lonely. Just wanted someone...or something. You can't possibly... ''

Dean stands, can't be far from Sam anymore. He collides with Sam and Sam hits the bed with an ''oomph'' Dean's arms instantly wrapping him up. Nose in his hair.

''I love you, Sammy.'' Sam gasps, starts to wiggle, Dean holds him closer ''I love you, I love you, I love you...''

He repeats it over and over, till Sam starts to sob, hands clutching Dean's clothes.

''Me too, Dean. I love you. So much.''

This kiss feels like absolution. Like salvation. Everything he's ever wanted. It tastes like the salt from Sam's tears, and every word between them, like Sam's _I love you_ like the way he says _Dean._

Their clothes fall off, skin on skin they slide against each other. Dean's never been so tender, never spent so much time just appreciating, kissing, licking. Worshipful.

He prepares Sam with their lips locked, fingers moving inside him, making him whine and whimper. Dean swallows every sound up like it's his last sustenance.

It's the first time, but when he enters Sam, he knows he's been waiting for _this_; the moment they're no longer two for an eternity. Everything stops, the world tilts, starts moving around Sam.

There's too much inside of him, so many feelings. Building up with the frantic way his hips thrust into Sam. It's so good, so right, far beyond pleasure. Something deep and ancient, fucking fundamental. They're meant to be, his blood sings with the conviction, he can't help but wonder how did he breathe without it being Sam, how will he breathe when they're tragically two separate creatures.

Sam's clinging to him, nails in his flesh, moans in his ears. He's rocking back onto Dean's cock, arching against him. Dean's desire and desperation mirrored in Sam, in the way he pulls on Dean, kisses him. In the tears flowing down his cheeks.

It's all so much. More than love, more than any feeling, no word can be enough.

''You're everything, Dean. _Everything_.'' Breathy admission, choked off in its honesty. 

Dean kisses him.

''Everything, Sammy.''


End file.
